It is 3:21 in the damn morning. I am FILMING A COMMERCIAL tomorrow and need to get to bed. It’s not like, a huge commercial. I am an extra - this is not “night before Christmas” excitement keeping me awake. It’s adderall. I took a normal dose 14 hours ago, went to work, got cut from work, made ZERO dollars today, came home, did nothing even with repeated attempts to something active with my boyfriend (no dice, he’s been sleeping all night), and now I am trying to at least pass the time by applying to new jobs and I can’t because I have to write separate cover letters and while I am physically able to do that right now, there is no way I would turn something I wrote after 3 in the morning to a potential employer. This post is only proving my point that I should not write this late at night with my brain going 50000 miles a second and my body going 4. I just want to sleeeeeep. And make more money because this job is a fucking joke so far and I am seriously questioning my decision to leave my adult, $48K plus sales incentive a year job with health insurance, a 401K, and the cubicle I dread so much to work in a sweaty, hit or miss bowling alley thinking I was taking the right steps to become an actor. Yes, I actually have a commercial tomorrow and that is fantastic, but not if I am asleep the whole time because I couldn’t sleep because I am making no money and that shit weighs on me and I’m all hopped up on amphetamines.
Fuck this shit sucks. I will write cover letters tomorrow. Right now, I need to eat about a dozen gummy melatonins that are over two years old@5 days ago